The Separation Circle 10 point Guide to Chatting on IRC


	The Separation Circle 10 point Guide to Chatting on IRC


	The IRC (internet relay chat) programme can be downloaded free from www.mirc.com

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1) connect to IRC using the DALNet network
and join a channel (e.g. #brit) and you will be able to chat with people online by typing things

2) choose your nickname carefully - a warm welcoming nickname such as
"come_and_get_it_boys" will work for most women, while men who wish to impress
women should choose something smart, cool yet casual such as "BingBongBangBoo"

3) channel operators are known as "wan"s and they have a definite hierarchy, a bit like a royal family. Impress them with
your knowledge of this when you first join a channel by asking "which of you ops is wan-king now?"

4) unfortunately there are many perverts on IRC who will greet you with a shocking request for anal sexual licking - this is such a
common request that it is usually abbreviated to "a.s.l. please". The most effective response to such a request is to brusquely suggest
that the offender should go and lick their own bottom

5) another way to impress channel operators is to show how much
you admire them by telling them you want to be like them
Joining as many channels as possible and saying repeatedly
"make me an op like you" will make you very popular very quickly.

6) If other channel members think they may never see you again, they may
realise how much they like you. A good strategy therefore is to tell
everyone that you're leaving forever.See their joy every time you return!

7) sadly IRC has many technical shortcomings. If you type something on a channel once, it will only go to one other person on the channel. If there are, say, 27 people on a channel, compensate for this shortcoming by ensuring that you type everything 27 times. Your consideration for other channel users will be much appreciated.

8) if all your other attempts to make
friends fail, changing your nickname to
StuffYou will signal to everyone else that you
are a friendly, kind and loving person and
you will receive much loving attention.

9) if you are tired of having to wait for your computer to close all programmes
and shut everything down when it's time to go to bed,
you can speed things up by running over it with a steamroller

10) Never attempt to use the phrase "The Separation Circle told me to do it" to justify your actions on a channel - or in a court of law.